Famous Foremothers: “Come to my Box o’ Dicks”

I don’t have much time to write this week.

The Memorial Day weekend will be filled with as much relaxation as a rectal exam thanks to our move. It’s always stressful packing up your life and moving it to another location. And even though we’ve hired movers to do all the heavy lifting, it’s boxing up the books, the winter sweaters, the “Buffy the Vampire” figurines that’s most stressful.

Seriously.

True story: I own this Anya figurine.

In the meantime, here’s another lesbian mother by way of her baby mama. She’s also someone who knows a thing or two about packing up and moving on.

Go Blue.

Melissa Etheridge, 49, made twin babies with her wife, Tammy, and that old dude from Crosby, Stills & Nash. After the babies were born and after Etheridge beat breast cancer, she left wifey. Sad song.

In some warranted retaliation, Tammy wrote this sort of spoken word poetry about the break-up. It might be my favorite thing I’ve read all year:

i moved out november 23rd 2009
she said it would help
i was convinced it would
too and i trusted there was
no one else
i didn’t know
there was someone moving in
as i was moving out

indeed

three weeks later a box of new toys
was delivered and her assistant brought
it to my rental house as a mistake
i opened it
and that’s when i felt something was up

i called her
“i have your new dicks on my kitchen counter?”

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