Hipster Baby or Baby Hippo

One of my favorite Google image searches is: baby hippo.

But then today, for no reason at all, I wondered what kind of magical images a “baby hipster” search would bring me. And, let me tell you, that is a whole other rabbit hole in which to dive. But here, in this forum alone, the two worlds collide in what I’ve cleverly titled:


My obsession with the infant hippo stems from the fact that, skinned of his fawn coat, I really believe Duncan would resemble a baby hippo. They are both plump and sit awkwardly on their haunches, like they can’t really relax. Also, because pug eyes, much like hippo eyes are situated on the sides of the head instead of facing forward, they give the best side eye. As if always letting you know, “I don’t necessarily trust your next move.”

The truth is, I’ll never have myself a baby hippo. On the other hand, there’s a really good chance that when Meredith isn’t looking I’ll be dressing up our new little sprout as a hipster baby. The question is, who wins out? The hipster or the hippo?


   The vendor at the Brooklyn Flea Market told me this camera predates me. I told him I was inspired by photography in the womb during ultrasounds.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable with your proximity, but maybe if I sit very still you'll move along and stop ogling me.

And the winner goes to?


  1. Baby Hippo- hands down….

  2. For sure the Hipster Baby

  3. Hipster hippo:

    1. SOFT SHOE!!!!!!

  4. Jarvis Slacks · · Reply

    Like, which one would I rather have? A child dressed up like a fan of Arcade Fire, or an animal that looks like it wants to shit so bad that it is actually in pain? Where’s option C? I want a brown baby that has more hair than body, who swears because I swear and has no ability to care about anything his mother says. Between your two options, I chose Hipster Baby. More work. But, it won’t grow up to be one of the most dangerous animals in the world. http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/animals/news-africas-most-dangerous-animal

    1. Please, I’m POSITIVE Jarvis’ baby would grow up to be the most dangerous animal in the world!

      I choose hippo.

  5. This is really, really tough. I’m going to tend toward baby hippo though because of my ongoing, sick fascination with baby animals that is just getting worse as I approach 30: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHSb6JN6z7k

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