I’ve mentioned before just how committed Meredith is to internet research. One of my favorite games to play used to be Things Meredith Googles at Night While I Sleep. Admittedly that game title is lengthy, but the game’s outcome never disappoints. On occasion she will sigh in exasperation and say: Well, that’s it. I’ve reached the end of the internet. And, for a few seconds, while it regenerates into 14 kajillion other searchable things that never before existed, I almost believe her. So, going into this whole process, I knew I would never be short of information on pregnancy. Though at some point awhile back, I had to put up my hand and make a formal request: please. stop. telling. me. everything.
Then we shared a bit of argumentative discussion on whether I was too uninformed or if it were OK to not know every single last detail of the female body and changes it will face during gestation. In the end, I agreed to be more open to topics like chapped or cracked nipples and Meredith agreed to stop freaking the f–k out of me with information on syndromes like cheeseburger crotch. And don’t even think I’m going to get into that here. But, if curiosity got the better of you, I’ve linked it for you here. You’re welcome. I guess? Obama may have struck down DADT for the military, but I’ve instated my own policy on the home front.
In place of unwanted information on infections and other ailments, Meredith has started sending me lesbian pregnancy propaganda from her internet research. Here’s a little taste of what that means:
But more than lesbian & babies, Meredith likes to send me pugs & babies. This is meant to be comforting as it’s no secret how ill-behaved Duncan can be, and conversations about how he’ll adjust with a baby run rampant in our house. Will he hate a baby? Will he rub eye goobers on its bibs? Will he sneeze in its face? Maybe he’ll just do this:
And, seriously, if this ever happens I won’t even be able to capture it on film because I’ll be sobbing at how sweet it looks. So let’s all just enjoy it now together and pretend it really happened in my own living room, k?