I try not to get too soapboxy that often because I guess I feel there are so many other people up on soapboxes, heralding their agendas, that it can be exhausting. And when too many people are shouting about REALLY! IMPORTANT! THINGS! it just turns to white noise and everyone stops listening. And actually, white noise makes me sleepy so I would probably be the one in the corner napping.
I care about gay rights as much as any other 30-something lesbian
who would rather be watching Bravo with her wife than rallying a cause on a Saturday night. But what I really care about, as someone trying to expand her family with babies, is gay families.
What I can’t stress enough is how good the gays have it up here in the northeast. I’m a spoiled a gay lady in these parts, and I know it. And I feel extremely fortunate. I can get married in not 1 but 5 states within driving distance. If, by some stroke of prejudice, gay marriage were revoked in NH where we signed our nuptials, we could take a day trip to NY, Connecticut or Vermont. Or you know, walk to the closest courthouse near our home in MA.
But I will always feel a deep connection to the south, to North Carolina, and to the little seaport known as Wilmington. And not just because it served as the backdrop for “Dawson’s Creek,” (even though it did), but because it brought me things like my wife, a group of friends I consider family, and let’s be honest, the world’s greatest burrito barn to ever exist. Without me setting foot in Wilmington; without that group of friends telling me: Friend, you are so very gay; hell, without those burritos, there’s no telling how long it would have taken me to figure out my sexuality.
So the fact that now, 5 years after Meredith and I left NC for NE, lawmakers are trying to write into the state constitution something like Amendment One, is really sad. It’s discriminatory and backwards and if I still lived there, I’m sure I’d be infuriated beyond the anger I feel now. But mostly how I feel is sad. Because I don’t think supporters of Amendment One and the general population of gay marriage haters are thinking about who this affects. I don’t think they are considering the individual faces of each person who is being told they are less significant than someone else. And I certainly don’t think they are considering Isak Atkins-Pearcy.
It’s hard for me to accept that people can be intolerant, but what brings me hope is realizing that kids like Isak exist. We form our own prejudices in every generation. And the bigotry or discrimination of our parents & grandparents is often laughable when seen through the lens of a kid who cannot fathom segregation or his mom not being allowed to vote or work. So maybe we don’t have it right just yet, but maybe with kids like Isak fighting for the rights of his mothers in states like North Carolina, we’ll get it right eventually.
Support to fight Amendment One can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/voteagainstamendmentone