I was propositioned by an acquaintance named Jane the other day, and not in the way that meant I’d be having an awkward conversation with my wife later over dinner. The proposition came in the form of an email prefaced by the amount of wine Jane had consumed prior to writing said email, which is maybe my favorite type of email to receive. So the proposition that came after a generous helping of booze was something along the lines of: I want to do a guest blog, and also here is my idea for said guest blog post: 10 Reasons I’m Glad I’m Gay.
Bringing a baby into the world these days means a lot of things for expecting parents, and maybe that’s always been true. But because I’m slightly narcissistic and feeling self-important by being a part of this tide-changing generation of the LGBT civil rights movement, I’m also going to say that bringing a child into the world as a gay couple means both your hurdles and rewards are compounded. Things aren’t changing overnight in a way that kids of two moms or two dads are still fielding questions or incredulous looks from classmates or playground pals. But things are changing so much so that it’s seen on the national news, the local news; it’s saturated in social media and stated boldly by the president of the United States. So, you know, there’s that.
The point is, things are headed in a direction towards acceptance & equality, and kids of gay parents — or parents in support of gays — have one leg up on the kids being raised in outdated, homophobic, constricted households. I’ve always imagined a moment of gratification when, federally, gay marriage is legalized; and, in that moment all the supporters of equality (and common f–king sense), along with the LGBT community, would shake their heads in unison at the states and opponents of such measures as if to say: Now don’t you feel silly?
All this to say that when Jane, my fellow blogging opinionist, came to me and said: Let’s write about why it’s so rad to be gay, I didn’t much hesitate to say, Hells yes. So I’m going to post these one at a time because I think they each warrant that much of your attention and also because I want to keep you on the edge of your seat for the next installment of why we think it’s just so freaking wonderful to be gay.
10 Reasons I’m Glad I’m Gay
Jane says: Why would anyone write such a simpleton statement? Glad to be gay? You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Little Lesbian says: Seriously, what a title of complete ignorance. I feel like I might be led to regret agreeing to this business of guest blogging.
Jane says: The impetus for this blog post wasn’t really the controversial past 10 years of my adult life between 20 and 30 which was peppered with political rubbish. It wasn’t sparked by the harping on gay marriage Republicans did while I lived in D.C. in my early 20s during the Bush years. The impetus for this blog post wasn’t even when, as a budding lesbian in my mid-twenties, I lived in California through Proposition 8.
Little Lesbian says: The word impetus is one of my very favorite words in both its definition and the way it appears when written. I don’t know – I’m just a geek like that. So I’m glad you’re about to use it about 18 more times. People, particularly those within the gay community and the heteros who advocate for us, often call attention to the fact that we’re living through a civil rights movement. But what I find both striking and unsettling about the way you write it here is how these acts of discrimination are tied directly to the timeline of your own life. It feels bigger than remembering where you were on a certain day in history, like 9/11 or the death of Bin Laden, because it’s a movement of events happening over time that you remember in different ways based on where you are in your life. Christ, two paragraphs in and we’re already sounding very naval-gazey.
[READ] It’s pretty disgusting.
Jane says: The impetus for this blog post wasn’t even the inspiring sea change a few years later wherein Republicans began to turn the corner on issues of same-sex marriage and who has the right to make decisions about adult Americans’ personal lives.
Little Lesbian says: I feel like I blacked out for this. I don’t even remember Laura Bush supporting gay marriage and bucking her father’s close-minded ideals of family values. Though, given the fact that she was living in New York I’m not terribly surprised – it’s a city of loose morality and degradation where homosexuals are free to roam around as real human beings with real human rights. Also, given the fact that I didn’t catch wind of her support all those years ago I am, retroactively, offering a slow, meaningful applause for her brave stance.
Jane says: Lastly — though it was close — the impetus for this blog post was not the tragic uptick in suicide by gay teens in the recent past, which sparked the creation of The Trevor Project.
[READ] It’s pretty sad.
Jane says: No, it has nothing to do with any of the things I’ve watched unfold in the past decade as a young gay person navigating my 20s: gay rights; gay rights debates; same-sex marriage debates; Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; George W. Bush; Focus on the Family; and most recently, the first U.S. President to ever endorse same-sex marriage rights for gay Americans. The reason I’m writing this blog post has nothing to do with gay people or the roller coaster of ups and downs for their access to equal rights in America the last decade has revealed.
Little Lesbian says: Oh god, here it comes. The impetus is approaching, I can feel it. We’re about to hear what exactly spawned this rambling diatribe.
Jane says: Rather, the impetus for this blog post was finally sparked by an article I read by Time’s @Toure about the murder of black teen Trayvon Martin. Subsequently, @Toure comes up with a few recommendations for young black men trying to stay alive in America in 2012.
During an early morning jaunt at the gym, while workin’ on my fitness, I leafed lazily through a print edition of Time Magazine. The article starts with this piece of advice from one black man to another younger, presumably less wise one: “It’s unlikely but possible that you could get killed today. Or any day. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. Black maleness is a potentially fatal condition.”
[READ] It’s pretty amazing.
Wow. It’s 2012.
Little Lesbian says: I feel like I find myself saying this often and maybe it’s because we were exposed to such a glamorized version of the future during the 80s and early 90s that I’ve been conditioned to expect things like flying cars, hover boards, or I don’t know, equal rights in every sense for every American citizen. Instead we have phones that can rearrange our schedules by voice command alongside teens who end up dead based on who they choose to love or the color of their skin. It’s like we are progressing so rapidly in one sense while digging our heels on the most basic issues of human kindness.
Jane says: The impetus for this blog post should be inherent. There are lots of reason to be gay about your gayness. For now, I’ll stick with just ten.
1) You get to think long and hard about having children.
Jane says: If you do decide to have kids, you’ll first have to answer this for yourself: are you a pedophile?
Little Lesbian says: Because everyone knows that the only reason a couple of gays would want to have children is because of their naughty, toucher tendencies. Fact.
Jane says: If you’ve gotten past this societal assumption behind why you’d want to have children (Sidebar: the majority of pedophiles are actually heterosexual men, but who’s keeping track), you must really want to bring life into this world. You’ve jumped through the hoops of bureaucracy and cost-prohibitive, overly complicated medical procedures to obtain a child.
Little Lesbian says: Meredith and I used to joke that we should send out our wedding invites under the premise of a shotgun wedding. Oops! We got knocked up, better make that woman honest and get her hitched. After all, what would people think to see a pregnant lesbian with no ring on her finger? Scandal, that’s what. But of course we don’t have cause to worry about missed periods, faulty condoms, unwanted pregnancies. Because when the gays become parents it’s because we scraped our savings, researched our brains out, planned like neurotic little planners, and most importantly, because goddammit we actually want to be parents.
Jane says: If you can just have this kid, maybe you’ll prove to the world once and for all that people who have a choice in the matter might actually make decent parents. Maybe you’ll even have a kid like this one.
[WATCH] It’s pretty sweet.