(Moaning?) Maternity Mishap: June 14

About a year ago I was ranting about women, namely celebrities quoted in gossip mags, who tell tales of peaceful, serene child labor. And even though Meredith has since sat me down to watch the birth of Mason Disick, as filmed on “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” (which really was a weird, muted childbirth), I’m still not totally convinced these calm, enjoyable labors exist. So when a friend of mine emailed me the link to an article called Oooh, Baby! Childbirth’s New Wave: The Orgasm. Yes. (Yes! Yes!) my reaction was something along the lines of, Get the f–k out.

Actually, the article was a secondary treat to the email’s original intent, which was a Maternity Mishap she’d spotted and wanted to pass along. The article is short and well-written as the author breezily discusses women who claim to  have climaxed while giving birth. And, if I know my audience, I’m confident that at least 60% of you have now abandoned this post to ferociously search for video footage of this phenomenon. You know who you are.

In case you care to read the actual article, I’ve linked it here. And while I don’t doubt that it’s possible to, um, heighten your sensory experience during childbirth I much prefer Dr. Lauren Streicher’s take on the whole ordeal:

“Want to know how to have a blissful birth? You put in an epidural with the first contraction and you surround yourself with people you like.”

The Mishap photo on the creepy scale is maybe not as high as previous posts, but it’s still awholotta (NSFW) underwater nakedness cast in some ethereal lighting that makes you think, Does this need to be broadcast on the internet? But, the answer is of course: yes. And thank god for that.

Like, I don’t know, is her head exploding? Is he seeing the face of God? Oh, I see what you did there.

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