Gay Double Standard is Gay

When my buddy Jane dropped by a couple weeks back to help guest blog 10 Reasons to be Gay about Being Gaywe had ourselves a gay old time, and reasons 2-10 are still on the horizon so more from Jane can be expected. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, I’ve started harassing other friends to swing by and chew the fat. Like Jarvis who blogs over here on topics like science fiction, gaming, higher education, politics and hating leggings. Not exactly subject matter that inspires conversations on lesbian pregnancy or gay parenting, but what you don’t know about Jarvis is that he’s a proponent for equal rights, a believer in the feminist movement, and that more than anything, he wants to marry a lesbian.

I told Jarvis he could put any topic on the table. And basically, the more Jack Daniel’s he consumes, the greater his desire to stoke controversy, so his suggestion for discussion was: the hypocrisy of anti-LGBT conservatives. I was nervous because I’ve learned that to be conservative does not necessarily = gay hater. Is it common? Yes. Is it absolute? No. So without putting any more thought into it, we dove right in:

Jarvis says: What bothers me the most about the opposition to gay rights/civil rights is the blatant hypocrisy.

Little Lesbian says: What bothers me the most about the opposition to the progression of gay/civil rights is the opposition to the progression of gay/civil rights.

Jarvis says:  That…that sentence made my brain hurt.

Sometimes Jarvis pours a second glass so he feels less alone.

Little Lesbian says: My sentence structure isn’t hurting your brain – it’s the Jack Daniel’s hangover* you’re nursing.

* I can provide no proof that supports my assumption that Jarvis, in fact, has a Jack Daniel’s hangover. Though, it’s likely. 

Jarvis says: I don’t like generalizing, but that being said, I’m about to generalize. The “right wing” wants the government out of almost everything: gun rights, corporations, environmental regulations. Yet, they want the government to restrict gay rights.

Little Lesbian says: I could spend just as much time banging my face against my desk as trying to siphon rational thought from the arguments of the “right wing” and reach the same conclusion every time. Except, on the one hand, I’d have bruises. I believe, for the most part, it’s a waste of time trying to make sense of the discriminatory train of thought. But because it’s unlikely that a person rolls out of bed one morning and thinks, I don’t like gay people, I also believe it makes sense to question what’s behind that discriminatory train of thought.

Jarvis says: I agree with that. There has to be a reason why people discriminate.  If we attempt to think rationally, there are usually two reasons why someone would “fear the gay.”  One is rooted in being uneducated.  I wasn’t a huge fan of white people until I spent a large amount of time with them.  Also, I wasn’t a huge fan of black people until I spent a large amount of time with them (huh?).

Little Lesbian says: ‘Large amount of time’ with black people like being raised by them? (scratches little lesbian head)

Jarvis says: And, to be honest, I didn’t want anything to do with gay people until I became close friends with gay people.  If you become educated, even slightly, bigotry doesn’t last very long.

Little Lesbian says: I’m with you there. It’s one-part education, one-part exposure. I hate Eli Manning. I hate his cry face and his slow-drawled speech and the fact that not once, but twice I’ve had to watch him hoist the Lombardi trophy over his head while my sad, defeated Patriots slink off to the locker room. I’m sure that after undergoing a lobotomy having spent time with him, I would find him to be nothing but charming and likable.

No, I can’t. I still hate you, Eli.

Jarvis says: You lost me at Eli.

Little Lesbian says: Sorry, continue. Education, exposure, and then?

Jarvis says: But then you have religion.  And there is no un-learning religious elitism.

Little Lesbian says: Preach.

Jarvis says: Honestly, the only way to restrict the rights of a group of people is by using the government.

Little Lesbian says: Or, you know, using electric fences if you wanna go that route.

Jarvis says: So, the government says that gay people can’t be married, and the same people who want government out of everything approve of this. They don’t want government to control them, but it’s fine if the government controls other people.

Little Lesbian says: I think this probably has to do with the fact that rifles aren’t trying to put their barrels in other rifles. The government doesn’t need to regulate the right to bear arms because it’s not sexualized.

Jarvis says: You bring up a really good point here. Why is sex regulated?  In almost every way. Republicans are always up someone’s uterus or in someone’s bedroom.  I can buy a gun so that I can kill someone, but in some states, I can’t buy a ‘morning-after’ pill.

Little Lesbian says: I once heard a really catchy tune about the ‘morning-after’ pill.

Jarvis says: There is a quote that sort of dances around the Internet: Republicans care about the life of the unborn until they grow up and want healthcare.  It’s supposed to be funny, but it’s truthful.  The worst part about all this is that I know more gay people who vote Republican. Or they would if the Republican party didn’t have its hand in social issues like a bowl of Skittles.

Taste the rainbow.

Little Lesbian says: I was really afraid you were going to take us to a dark place and then leave us there, but you know what you’ve left us with? Skittles. And for that, I commend you. We may not be able to answer questions like why do a panel of men get to vote on the rights of our country’s women? Or why was a landmark case like Roe v Wade won in 1973 — 7 years before I was even born! — yet still scrutinized and threatened well into my 30s? The truth is, the baby I hope to bring into this world will know discrimination and hatred and plenty of other ugly realities. And not just because he or she will have two moms but because these things have always existed and will always be some kind of reality for us. Shit, now I’ve taken us to a dark place. Let me segue back to Skittles because they are tasty little buttons of fruity goodness (except maybe the yellows). And they taste like rainbows. Which, like double standards, is pretty gay.

One comment

  1. I’d like to tell your readers that, contrary to what you wrote here, I am not a drunk. I have, on occasion, been drunk. And I might have been drunk when I wrote all that to you. And, yes, I might be drunk right now. But that doesn’t mean I’m a drunk. Seriously.

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