Category Reasons not to have babies.

Maternity Mishap: Miss Independence

So, America turned a year older this week, Kelly Clarkson reemphasized that she’s not a big lesbian, and now even pregnant women are turning to bath salts?!? I spent the Fourth on my couch, mostly, avoiding the scorching heat in the comfort of my air-conditioned living room. And even on the occasions where I did […]

Maternity Mishap: June 28

Holy shit, it’s June 28, which means the year is more than half through and where in the hell is 2012 going and why the hell is it going there so quickly? Work is unbearably slow this week, making for a tortuous return to my 9-5 after a breezy and relaxing week on the beaches […]

(Moaning?) Maternity Mishap: June 14

About a year ago I was ranting about women, namely celebrities quoted in gossip mags, who tell tales of peaceful, serene child labor. And even though Meredith has since sat me down to watch the birth of Mason Disick, as filmed on “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” (which really was a weird, muted childbirth), I’m […]

Maternity Mishaps: June 7 (a belated bonus)

So in case you don’t live by your appointment calendar, or I don’t know, fell into a pill and booze coma for two days (I don’t know your life), it’s not actually Thursday which means it’s not actually June 7. But, despite the late entry, I didn’t want to bypass this week’s Mishap entirely. And […]

Maternity Mishap: May 31

There’s not really much to say about this week’s Mishap except for this: If you’ve never been to Hampton Beach, NH, and taken a leisurely stroll down the boardwalk, this is the kind of shit you’re missing. It is a prime spot for people watching that never gets tired. Never mind dumping millions of dollars […]

Maternity Mishaps: May 24

A little late in the day but didn’t want to neglect sharing this really remarkable Mishap. And, of course, a short little preface to start things off: As we all know by now, Meredith loves her reality TV. To the point where, when asked over the weekend if she had yet tuned into Bravo’s “Pregnant […]

Maternity Mishaps: May 17

I think most people have a late night talk show host to which they’re loyal. You’ve got your Jimmy fans, both Fallon and Kimmel, your Leno fans (for whatever reason), and even your Fergusons if you can keep your eyes open that late. I don’t actually know if Craig Ferguson’s show is still on the […]